shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize