am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
