Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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