you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You've changed since you got that strap on
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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