yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
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Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run