i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together