I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.