She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
