guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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