boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
