We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just blew my weed a kiss
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
