I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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