Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
