idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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