Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
So apparently I’m into choking now
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
