is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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