Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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