Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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