I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize