can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
