I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
