Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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