So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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