Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
