I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize