butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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