did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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