you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
