roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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