Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
