i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
