It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We had to coat check the pizza.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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