it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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