He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
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