Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
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is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
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