What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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