I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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