I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize