what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
there is glitter all over my balls
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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