omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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