I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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