I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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