margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
