Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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