You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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