And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize