Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
