Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
