You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
