We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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