I will die if light touches me.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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