ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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