Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
