For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
