I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
