My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
