I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
